Can You Feel the Love Tonight
by Runs with Werewolfs
Summary: James comes back 5 years after a fight with Kendall that tore them apart, heartbroken and wanting to fix things. But as he and Logan fall in love, Kendall is less than forgiving or pleased, convinced that Logan is doomed. Jagan, tiny Kenlos, James x ?


**Can You Feel The Love Tonight**

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* * *

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Carlos closed his eyes, desperate for sleep. It was a couple days after his birtday, and the 23 year old was exhausted after spending the night before with his family and today with Kendall and Katie's crazy cousins and chasing Camille's 2 year old son all over the apartment because her husband, Ron, was too busy to care and she was too pregnant to do anything about it. He may have been the craziest one of the trio of boys, ever since James had left at 18 to model for Cuda Cosmetics after having a huge fight with Kendall over the direction of the band, there had only been three of them, but even if he was the craziest one, he was exhausted.

His bedroom was dark and peaceful. Carlos snuggled into his pillow, closing his eyes tighter and burrowing into his pillow. He was almost asleep, when his bedroom door opened with a loud BOOM! And light filled the room. "DISASTER'S IN THE AIR!" Kendall's voice shouted from the door.

Carlos shot up. "What?" he asked, blinking. The lights were too bright and hurt his head. He groaned and covered his eyes. "What's wrong?"

Kendall slammed his door shut and turned on one of the lights, just a small light, giving Carlos's eyes time to adjust. He plopped down on the foot of Carlos's bed and groaned. "You'll never believe who just showed up at the door 20 minutes ago. And why are you in bed, it's 8, you never sleep until like, 11"

"Munchkins have me worn out, I'm tired. What's going on, you're shaking slightly." Carlos said, feeling Kendall's shaking hand against his foot. Kendall had to be furious, he never shook like that. "What's going on?"

Kendall sighed. "Logan and I were going to play one of our new video games that my mom got us, when someone came to the door. So Logan went and opened it, and you'll never guess who it was"

Carlos gave him a look. "Santa Claus?"

"No, I'd be okay with that. James. James showed up at the door, holding gifts for each of us, and a smile on his face. Like he didn't call me a jerk for wanting to go more of a rock direction."

That wasn't the way Carlos remembered it. James had wanted to keep the band clean, kid friendly, while Kendall had wanted to talk more about sex and drinking, and James had left, saying that he didn't want to be a part of something that he didn't agree with, and couldn't stand for, wouldn't be a part of something that would poison kids minds and ruin his reputation, and Kendall had called him a jerk. Carlos was mad at James too, but not because he left, but because he wouldn't answer his calls. "James is here?" he asked softly.

"No, we're at his house. Yes, he's here, with gifts." Kendall scoffed. "Like a bunch of expensive gifts could ever make me forgive that jerk"

Carlos sighed. "I've missed him. I'm going to go say hi" he stood up, and was halfway to the door when Kendall pulled him back and shook his head. "What now?"

"When I left, James and Logan had been hugging for like, 5 minutes. I know what's happening out there, and disaster is inevitable" Kendall said, eyebrows straight up and furrowed. His green eyes showed signs of worry and maybe just a little jealously. Carlos sighed and put a hand on Kendall's shoulder.

"James is back, Kendall. That's all that matters" Carlos said, heading for the door. Kendall grabbed his shoulder.

"Seriously, Carlos, some serious stuff is going on out there, and what the three of us have is doomed" Kendall announced dramatically. Carlos rolled his eyes and

Carlos went to the door and peeked out. Logan and James were sitting on the couch, talking as if James had never left. "What's happening? They're just talking" Carlos asked, wondering what on earth Kendall was taking an issue to.

Kendall joined Carlos. "They're going to fall in love. They've both liked each other since middle school, and they're going to fall for each other, right now."

Carlos sighed. "I think they'd make a cute couple!" he said excitedly.

"Yeah, well, here's the bottom line. Logan falls in love, and it's just the two of us. Logan will spend all his time with James, and James will start feeding him lies about the way the band is, and then they'll get married, and adopt a bunch of kids, or Logan will figure out a way to genetically engineer biological kids and then it's just us! Logan's friend Dalton has already got a lead on the whole 2 men having kids thing"

"Oh"

"and we can't stop it! They're watching some cheesy romantic movie, and Logan said something about cookies, and they're going to go out to dinner tomorrow!"

"All of this has happened in 20 minutes? Did James ever say one word to you?"

"Yeah, he said "Hey, Kendall, I missed you, how are you, I brought you a present. I hope you still like hockey" . Like his stupid presents would make me happy"

"What'd he get you?" Carlos inquired.

"A hockey jersey autographed by the Stanley cup winners from this year."

"That's a really cool gift, though, Kendall. I would have never thought to get you that" Carlos said.

"Yeah, well he's still a jerk."

Carlos watched as Logan snuggled up to James's side, smiling up at him with that adoring look he used to give Kendall before the fight between him and James. Kendall had never realized it, but some of the things Kendall had said about James had made Logan loose a great deal of respect for Kendall. James had never said anything about the guys after he'd left the band, except that he wished them the best and cared about them. Kendall had done everything in his power to smear James's name in the media, mad that James had left them. Logan had stopped giving Kendall the "you can do no wrong" look about 5 months after James had left and hadn't looked at anyone like that since. To Carlos, who was a romantic at heart, it was sweet to see Logan giving someone that look.

"Kendall, what's wrong with falling in love? I think it's sweet"

"Doomed, Carlos, Logan is doomed to a life of eternal misery!" Carlos gave Kendall a look, James would never make Logan miserable, if anything, Logan falling in love with James was sentencing Logan to the happiest life he could have.

"You're acting like a teenaged girl, Ken."

"They're going to realize how perfect they are for each other and then the band will end because James will tell him to leave!"

"No offense, but you're being a real pain in the ass" Carlos complained, pushing Kendall, who had thrown himself onto Carlos dramatically onto the floor. Kendall stared up at him from the floor and then folded his arms.

"His carefree days are history!"

* * *

James glanced furtively at Logan, wondering how to tell him everything that had transpired in the last five years since he had left the band and seen Logan. Why he had left in the first place. Everything had happened so fast and Logan didn't know. But if Logan knew the reason James really left, the dark part of his past James had kept hidden, Logan wouldn't want James.

"I've missed you" Logan whispered, cuddling closer to James. "A lot."

"I missed you too, Logie." James glanced down at the man who was cuddled into his arms. Everything about Logan was beautiful. From the big brown eyes that, even though he was now 24, still mentioned every ounce of innocence and sincerity Logan had held in his eyes when they were five, the dark brown hair, that was now in more of a "Bieber" style cut, or like Kendall's had been, to the crooked smile that was lingering on Logan's lips. James had done some fairly stupid things in his life, but right now, the moment Logan had thrown himself into James's arms, and refused to let go, as if James's strong arms might be a sudden dream, James had figured it out. Leaving Logan was the biggest mistake he had ever made."How have you been?" James asked.

"I've been okay" Logan said. "It's been different without you. Carlos misses you. I think somewhere inside of him, Kendall missed you too"

James sighed "I don't want to talk about Kendall, not tonight."

"How long are you here?"

"At least a year. Maybe longer. I'm spokesman for the LA division now." James explained. "and I want to get together with you, and with Carlos"

"No Kendal?l"

"I'm leaving that relationship in his hands, to be honest. But I want to be a part of your life' he would like nothing more than to be the biggest part of Logan's life. James sighed, sinking into a perfect fantasy, one where James had never left. Something made James think that if he hadn't left, he and Logan would be together by now, maybe even married, maybe even almost done with the adoption process for the first time. James looked down at Logan's hand, and envisioned what type of ring he'd propose with. Probably something pretty, yet simple, something that was essentially Logan.

"Well, I think that's a good idea." Logan urged. "But if you want to build a relationship with him, it might be a good idea to, you know, let him know you're interested in being his friend again."

James shrugged. "That's a good idea" he said, and then jumped as Kendall and Carlos both bounded out of Carlos's room. Carlos launched himself at James, shouting something about corndogs, while Kendall simply stomped into the kitchen, a disgruntled look on his face,

James laughed at Carlos, who had his arms around James's neck and had leaned over and twisted himself around James, smiling at him. "Hey!" Carlos shouted entergetically. "I missed you!"

James laughed. "I missed you to. There's a present for you on the table"

"Presents!" and with that, Carlos took off, running for the table. Logan laughed and sat up, wincing as Carlos ran into the table and did a flip over it. Logan shook his head.

James grinned. "Well, he hasn't changed since I last saw him"

Logan rolled his eyes and smiled "If anything, I'd say he's more adorable, more clumsy and more destructive than he was 5 years ago." He said, standing up. "Do you want something to drink, Jamie-I mean, James"

James stood up. "Jamie is okay too, Logan. And what do you have?"

Logan walked into the kitchen, pushing past the irritated Kendall and opened the fridge "Uh, just coke, Carlos's fruit juice, Kendall's beer and water"

"Water please" James said, walking into the kitchen, giving Kendall a look as Kendall glared at him. "Kendall drinks now?"

"Only when a hockey game is on" Carlos said, bouncing into the kitchen with his still wrapped gift in his arms. "What did you get me!"

James snorted. "You can open if you know" he said, pointing at the package. Carlos quickly tore in, and grinned at him when he saw the contents.

"A bag of coffee? Thanks James! The guys don't let me have this any more!" he shouted, tearing off to his room.

Logan looked at him. "What did you really get him?" he asked softly, praying that James wasn't out of his mind.

"I got him a helmet…" James said, staring after Carlos in shock. "He really hasn't changed at all" he said with a sigh. Logan shrugged and handed James a glass of water. "You know who hasn't changed either?"

"Who?"

"You. You don't look a day past 17." James said, leaning against the counter.

Logan laughed. "What about you, dude? You don't look a day past 15…That must be why they like using you, you're still effortlessly young…you don't need any of their make up or anything. You're just- beautiful" he said and then blushed, looking away. He had always found James beautiful, even before James had become a narcissist. In fact, Logan was pretty sure he was the first person to even tell James he was beautiful…

* * *

_20 years before_

_ "Okay, James, you sit right here!" 5 year old Kendall Knight commanded, pushing the dark haired boy onto the bench. "and Carlos, you sit next to him!" Kendall barked, grabbing the helmet headed boy as he rode past on a bike. The bike clattered to the ground and Carlos whimpered in pain as blood began leaking from a cut on his leg. "Oh…let's go find Mommy!" Kendall determined after a minute. He dragged Carlos off, leaving James sitting on the bench._

_ James looked around. His Mom was standing by their car, one of those smelly sticks that smoke poured out of in her mouth. He got up and walked over. "Hey Mommy!" he said loudly, startling her. She dropped her smoke-thingy and turned around._

_ "You little brat!" she leered at him. He shrunk back. Mommy never hit him, but Daddy had. "Just wait till I tell your father."_

_ James shrunk back. "I'm sorry" he said, blinking. "I didn't mean to…" he said, hands over his face. He turned around as Kendall called him again. She was lighting up another smelly-stick, and rolled her eyes at him, so he knew it was okay to go. He stumbled off, falling about five feet away from Kendall and bursting into tears. Kendall bit his lip, and watched as his best friend's mom ignored him. He turned to go get his Mom for James, but stopped when a little black haired boy came running up and plopped himself down next to James._

_ The other little boy gave James a sad look and then grabbed James's leg. "It's just a scrape" he said with a sigh. "You should have your mommy put some neo-spor-rin on it, and then a bandaid, but when you get home, you should take it off and clean it better and let the air hit it" he said. _

_ James blinked. "My mommy doesn't care" he said sadly._

_ "Oh. Well, I'll take you to my mommy. She's a doctor, she knows what to do" the little boy said, proudly and grabbed James's hand, pulling him over to a woman with the same color hair as him, who had a little girl on her lap. "Mommy, my friend-what's your name?"_

_ "James" James said._

_ "My friend James, he fell and his mommy isn't here so can you look at his knee?" the boy asked. "I told him you could fix it!" _

_ She smiled "Of course, Logan." She said, putting the girl down. "Lilly, you stay there" she said, before kneeling down in front of James. "Oh, it's just a scrape." She said and then looked at Logan. "Do you know where the first aid kit is, Logan?"_

_ Logan nodded. "Under the front seat" he said, running to her purse and digging her keys out. James watched as Logan's short legs flew across the playground and he opened a car before rummaging under a seat, closing the door and running back. He handed his Mom the kit and then grinned at James._

_ "Okay, James, take a seat up here and we'll see what we can do to make it better" she said. James hoped onto the bench next to the little girl and Logan jumped up next to him, taking his hand. James looked at him, confused._

_ "So if it stings you can squeeze my hand and then it'll feel better. Lilly always holds my hand when she has a scrape" Logan explained, smiling at the little girl, who clapped. James winced as she put something on the scrape and Logan squeezed his hand. "It's okay."_

_ Logan's mom put the bandage on James's knee and then smiled. "Okay, you're good to go" she said._

_ James jumped down, Logan's hand still in his. "Wanna go play with my friends Kendall and Carlos?" he asked, looking over to where Kendall and Carlos were rolling around on the ground, wrestling. _

_ Logan nodded. "Sure!" he said, letting James lead him. "Wait, my shoe, it's untied!"_

_ James stopped and watched as Logan knelt down and tied his own shoes. "Wow, you can do that!"_

_ "Of course, can't you?"_

_ "No, I always get confused" James said sadly. _

_ "I'll teach you when you're wearing shoes with laces" Logan said, pointing at James's Velcro shoes. He smiled up at him and then nodded. "You know, you're really, really pretty" Logan said, grinning even more at the huge grin that spread across James's face. "Even with a missing tooth" he teased. _

_ James grinned. "Logan, I think we're gonna be best friend!"

* * *

_

Logan smiled at James. "Hey, do you remember how we met?" he asked.

"Yeah." James took a sip of his water. "I fell and hurt my knee. My mom, being my mom, just stared in the opposite direction. She still doesn't call me. My dad does sometimes, after they divorced, he stopped drinking and got his act together. He cares. Some. For my money, mostly." James sighed. "How is your mom? How's Lilly?"

"Mom's good. You know how she is. And Lilly is- well, she's Lilly. She's about to become a teacher. Mom's so proud of both of us." Logan smiled and grabbed a soda out of the fridge. He hopped up onto the sink and smiled at James. "Do you want to go somewhere?" Logan asked, kicking his feet back and forth.

James shrugged. "It's 9 pm, dude, I don't know"

"We could go to the pool and watch the stars." Logan suggested. "and we could just talk…" he trailed off. "I've really missed you, James, please"

James nodded and offered his arm. "Okay, let's go" he said with a smile. Logan linked their arms together and jumped off the counter. Kendall watched as they walked out of the apartment, laughing as if they hadn't be apart for more than 2 or 3 days at most.

Kendall sighed and sat down on the couch, wondering if and when James was going to tell Logan the whole story about why he had left. Kendall stared at his hands. It wasn't that he hated James, because he didn't, James always would have a place in Kendall's heart, with his arrogance and cockiness and weird mannerisms and panic attacks and his drive to be famous and Kendall cared. But James had made choices, choices that Kendall, who was pretty lenient- simply couldn't agree with.

Carlos walked back into the room. "Where are James and Logan?" he asked, his new helmet on his head.

Kendall sighed. "They went to go watch the stars at the pool or some romantic crap."

Carlos sat down next to him, snuggling close. "Why are you so against them dating?" he asked, putting his head on Kendall's shoulder.

Kendall sighed. "There's a lot about the fight that James and I specifically didn't tell you two because Logan would be heartbroken and you would tell Logan. Can you keep a secret now?" he asked, putting his head on top of Carlos's.

Carlos shrugged. "Of course" he said. He hadn't blabbered a secret for years, unless he was drunk and he didn't drink anymore because he didn't want to go down that road.

"James and I fought over more than just the direction of the band. James and I fought because he went all loony on us and had been dating someone behind our backs without telling us. He and this other person got engaged and I don't know how they kept the relationship under wraps for 5 years, but they got married like, 2 months after James left. They got divorced about 6 months ago, James's dad tells my mom these things. If I remember right, James wanted kids and the other person didn't"

"Who did he marry, Kendall?"

"Do you remember Jo's TV show, New Town High? "

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember how all of a sudden, James got really close with one of her costars? Do you remember which one?"

"Jett Stetson, Logan and I always figured that it was because they were both so into themselves" Carlos remembered. "Wait- him and Jett-?"

"He had been dating Jett since right after Jo and I broke up." Kendall said. "That's why it surprised me they kept the marriage under wraps. Probably only because they are male, would be the only reason they didn't figure it out. But I knew, the whole time. James's fancy shmancy lawyers made me sign a contract that I wouldn't tell. Gustavo knew too."

"But why did they not want to tell us?" Carlos asked, slightly hurt.

"They were afraid of what we might think, since Jett and I hated each other. I only knew because I walked in on the proposal. James was pissed at me because I shouted some profanities at him and punched Jett in the face for poisoning James's mind. James broke my nose and basically threatened me within an inch of my life if I ever touched Jett again" Kendall said. "You and Logan were both home in Minnesota for something we weren't invited too, family things, and by the time you got back, my mom and I were signed to contracts forbidding us from telling until the marriage ended- if it ended. Katie never even knew. "

Carlos sighed. "Logan needs to know."

Kendall nodded. "I know. Why aren't you freaking out about this?"

"I don't freak out about things…" Carlos trailed off. "We need to tell Logan though, so he's not as hurt about why James left us!" he said cheerily, as if this was the most exciting thing to happen since the time Disneyland had been shut down for a whole day so they could go to Disneyland.

Kendall, on the other hand, knew it was a good thing. When Logan found out, he would turn away from James and fall out of love with him. "You're right, Carlos, Logan _does _need to know. For his own good" He didn't really wanted to be a big bitch but he had to protect Logan from James. If James was willing to beat Kendall up, who knew if he would hit Logan or something?

Carlos looked at him. "Oh no. That's the scheme look. What are you scheming? Wait no, don't tell me, I don't want to have any part of this nonsense!" He announced, jumping up and running for his room. Kendall watched him in amusement.

"I love that dork" he smiled lovingly and then stood up to go after Carlos and try to get him to snuggle. Carlos really was Kendall's entire world, and it was stupid but Kendall would do anything to make Carlos happy and to impress him, Which was really dumb considering that he had been best friends with Carlos for 21 years. But Carlos would always be everything to Kendall.

* * *

"So, what else has been going on in your life?" James asked, picking at his plate with his fork. It was the next night, at dinner, and James was feeling self conscious, a relatively new concept for the model, but only because Logan hadn't taken his eyes off James since James had picked him up an hour ago. James was beginning to wonder if he had a booger in his nose or something.

Logan smiled. "Oh, normal stuff. Seen a couple people, broken up with a couple people, dealt with Kendall and Carlos, was the best man at Camille's wedding, which she's hurt you didn't attend, and oh yeah, Kendall and Carlos have been dating secretly for 2 years."

James choked on his wine. "Excuse me?" He coughed eyes bugging out.

"Yeah. And, Kendall made me go to the mall with him and Katie the other day while Carlos was busy, and he was staring at this one ring at the jewelry store while we bought his mom her birthday present, and he snuck away while Katie and I were looking at books, and I think he may have bought it" Logan shared, a grin on his face. He was still mad at Kendall for the fight with James, but Kendall made Carlos happy, and Kendall and Carlos were adorable together and Kendall was so good to Carlos, that the fact they might get married made Logan giddy inside. Just because he knew how happy both of them would together and how perfect both of them were for each other.

James blinked. "Wow. I've missed _a lot" _he said, biting his lip. "What about you, are you seeing anyone right now?" he asked, and studied Logan's face.

"Not for the last year and a half." Logan admitted, picking at his own food now.

"No one wants you?" James asked, kind of surprised at Logan's now dejected demeanor.

"No. Plenty of people want me. I just- I haven't met someone I want" Logan said. "No one has really caught my eye" he shrugged. "I'm sure he or she is out there." More like sitting across the table from him right now.

"Oh, so you're bisexual?" James asked, hopefully.

"Yeah. Sorry, I forgot you had already left when I came out." Logan said, biting his lip. "What about you?" he asked, staring down at his salad.

"I'm gay." James said. "I was in a relationship with a guy since right after I left, but we ended things about 6 months ago, after 6 months of trying to figure things out. Things just didn't work like they should."

"I'm sorry, that's rough" Logan said, looking up at him.

"It was. I gave him 5 years of my life- and I'm talking, giving that is so unlike me, - I'm talking, maybe you or Carlos, breakfast in bed at least once a week- my whole private life revolved around him because he couldn't be in my public one, you know? I basically treated him like he was my king, and in a way, he was. No, he was more than my king, he was my god. And the whole time, I wasn't enough for him but he was all I wanted. I was physically ill for probably 2 weeks after it ended. And then somehow, I ran into Jo Taylor, you know, Kendall's Jo, at Starbucks one morning and she thought I was drunk and she- she's a lot better than she used to be. She's the most amazing person ever. She convinced me to come back to you guys, stay with her and try to fix what I broke."

"You didn't break anything. Kendall broke everything"

James sighed. "Hey, I helped. It wasn't all him. Don't blame him for everything. He's just- he has every right to be mad at me. And speaking of him-" James pointed at something and Logan turned around, groaning. Kendall was standing about 5 tables away, looking irritated.

Logan winced as Kendall came over. "Hey, James, have you told Logan yet?" he asked cheerily, sitting down next to James

"Tell me what?" Logan asked, raising his eye brow.

Kendall gave James a look. "You mean you two are basically a couple, and yet, you didn't tell Logan that you just got divorced 6 months ago?" he asked, looking confused. James looked at Kendall incredulously, not believing what Kendall was doing.

"What?" Logan's voice cracked.

Kendall glanced at Logan. "Yeah. James was engaged when he left, and we fought about it. That's why he left" Kendall said. "Tell him who you were married to, Jamie!"

James glanced at Kendall, begging him to stop. "Kendall, not here, please"

"Tell him!"

Logan folded his arms. "Yeah, James, tell me"

"Please, can we do this at- back at the Palmwoods?" James asked. "It's private."

Kendall grinned at him. "He's gonna find out, James, just tell him"

James closed his eyes. "Kendall, I know I upset you and I should have listened to you and I was wrong. Now please, shut up and I'll tell him at home. You just ruined dinner, anyways."

Kendall turned to Logan. "He married Jett Stetson." He said. "and that's not all, James, can I see your driver's license?"

James slumped into the table. "Kendall, please!'

"Please, James, Logan needs to know" Kendall said.

James stuck his hand into his pocket and pulled his wallet out, before standing up and tossing it at Kendall, smacking him in the face with it, before turning on his heels and rushing out of the restaurant. Kendall smirked, wallet in hand, and opened it up. "Stetson. His legal name is James _Stetson" _He said, smugly.

Logan stood up. "Shut up, Kendall. I get you're upset, but you just crossed the line. No, wait, you crossed the line five years ago" he snapped. "But no one would tell you because you don't listen when we ask you to stop. I don't know how Carlos puts up with you, because you're being completely unreasonable right now. What's your problem?" he folded his arms.

"Logan, everyone is staring at us" Kendall muttered.

Logan rolled his eyes. "Kendall, you just humiliated James. Where's Kendall? Cuz this isn't Kendall. This is- this is Jett Stetson, this is Wayne-Wayne- this isn't my best friend." Logan pleaded. "Bring Kendall back and we'll talk. I'm going to go find James. I'll talk to you at home."

"Logan, please" Kendall grabbed Logan's shoulder. "You don't need that coward. He doesn't deserve you anymore. He doesn't deserve anyone!"

Logan's eyes shot wide and reeled around, punching Kendall in the stomach, knocking all the air out of Kendall's stomach. "Kendall, you're not as perfect as Gustavo makes you think you are. Whoa re you anymore? You're right, James doesn't deserve you. He doesn't deserve your crap. Call my when you grow a heart again." Logan turned on his heels, leaving Kendall gasping for breath, and ran after James, wondering where on earth his two best friends had gone.

James sank down on the concrete by the car, wincing. He had fallen in the parking lot (and gotten laughed at by a couple of teenagers) in his haste to get as far away from Kendall and Logan as possible. He buried his face into his arms, feeling like a 16 year old, hormonally imbalanced boy instead of a 23 year old man, letting the sobs that he had been fighting back around Kendall since yesterday bubble over. He hadn't expected a warm welcome, not after some of the things he had done and said to Kendall the last time he had seen him, and he certainly didn't expect Kendall to be thrilled James was there, but was it really too much to ask that Kendall at least act like he was 22, almost 23? Kendall had just ruined every chance James had had with Logan, and more than anything, that broke James's heart. James would have done anything to see what would happen with him and Logan, and now, all chances were gone. It killed James inside, that he would never know what could have been.

Kendall had always been slightly immature, but then all of them, even Logan, really had been kind of childish, Carlos with his silly antics, innocence and naivety, plus all those fights with Logan over stupid things, Logan with his slap fights with Carlos and his knack for getting hurt worse than most growing kids, James and his narcissism and drama, and Kendall with his grudge holding and inability to rest until he had gotten revenge and made things right in "Kendall-land". Honestly, and James couldn't really talk, for someone so selfless normally, Kendall could be the most selfish person in the world. Apparently, this had gotten worse over time, with Kendall letting his anger at James stew for 5 years and all.

James shook his head. It wasn't just Kendall's fault though. Kendall, from how James had been treated by the other two, had never once broken contract, and never once told Logan and Carlos some of the things James had said about Kendall. James couldn't even remember, but he knew he had been just as – and maybe more- unreasonable during the fight than Kendall had been. Kendall had trashed him to the media, but James deserved it.

In the end, as always, Kendall had known best anyways. James should have known better than to trust Jett Stetson. Jett had spent 2 years running Kendall down, and what had James done? Turned around and married the guy. Kendall had taken it too far, yes, but it was justified, his anger, in some aspects. Kendall was hurt, and James had been selfish.

"What have I done" he mumbled.

"Nothing" someone said, and then arms encircled James. "Kendall was wrong"

James looked up. "Logan?" he said tearfully.

"I don't care what you did, Kendall screwed up. And I think he realized it, he looked devastated when I left." Logan said. "although it could have been the fact I knocked all the air out of his lungs by punching him in the stomach."

"But you don't know everything that happened between us. He has every right to be upset" James defended Kendall.

"No, he didn't, James. Not like that. You both could have handled it better. He could have done this at home, and you could have not run out like a teenaged girl." Logan said. "I don't know what happened, so I can't really judge, but I do know what happened back there"

James sighed. "You're not mad at me for not telling you?"

"Hurt…yes. Confused, yes. Mad, no. It's your life, you're entitled to keep secerets from people. I don't understand why, per se, but it's your right. I'm not mad." Logan assured him. He put his head on James's shoulder. "Do you want to tell me?"

James nodded. "I have to. I've been wanting to tell you for a long time now." James admitted.

"How did you and Jett start?" Logan asked.

"I don't know, really, we just did. Right after Jo and Kendall broke up, Jett asked me out. He said he'd always liked me and was only pursuing Jo because their producers didn't want her to be with Kendall and were forcing him too. He's a better actor then his critics think, he had me completely convinced. We dated for a year, and then I decided that even though we were 18, I was going to propose. I was stupid, and I figured I knew it all. Kendall walked in on me proposing to Jett. We had already been arguing about Kendall wanting more sexually charged music, and Kendall snapped. We knocked each other around for probably over an hour after Jett went home to tell his parents. It was brutal, if Mama Knight hadn't come home, one of us might have died that night. After that, Kendall basically stopped talking to me, until; the second big fight. You guys didn't hear it, but the fight started off about music and ended up with me and him in each others faces, screaming at each other while Gustavo tried to separate us because you and Carlos had gone home with Kelly because Kelly wasn't feeling good and Carlos spilled something on his pants and you were driving. I left because I was sick of hearing Kendall's snide comments about Jett. I kind of threatened to murder Kendall if he ever said a word about Jett ever again, because Kendall had also done some things to Jett like pushing him into the pool and stuff, just because he's so bitter and doesn't get over things"

"And you lived with Jett for five years- married him." Logan continued for James.

"Yeah. And then, I came home from lunch- on our fifth anniversary, no less-and found Jett in bed with some blonde bimbo with boobs bigger than her head. Jett wasn't expecting me to be able to get off work, and I came home, because I told my boss it was my anniversary, and he let me off, and found that- I was heartbroken. I wasn't lying when I said I gave Jett everything, for the six months until the divorce was done and my bank account was separate, I was living with my coworker, on probably 200 bucks a month because Jett kept draining our account as revenge for the divorce. He thought I should just lie back and let him sleep with anyone because he was Jett." James choked up and Logan wrapped his arms around James, pulling him to his chest. The moment Logan did, James broke down.

James buried his face into Logan's shirt, sobbing. Logan kept his arms around James, trying to decide if life in prison for Jett's murder was worth standing up for James. It really seemed like no one was standing up for James lately, and Logan knew as well as anyone that James, while overly confident to the point of it driving people insane, had been known to silently take things, for years, even, without letting anyone know. Hence, no one knowing that James was being abused until they were 17 and James had been stricken with appendicitis and while recovering and loopy on morphine, had told Kendall. It had been all Logan and Carlos could do to keep Kendall off the first flight back to Minnesota to go beat James's parents senseless. Logan knew, somewhere in Kendall, was the Kendall that would probably like to go kill Jett, and that more than likely, that Kendall was screaming to get out, but this new, foreign, vengeful Kendall was fighting his hardest to suppress the old Kendall.

After a few minutes, James spoke up again. "I- I asked him why, why I wasn't allowed to sleep around, if he was, because his whole speech was that "I'm Jett Stetson, I'm amazing, I should be able to sleep with anyone I want. But you, you just be a good little house wife and go make me dinner and I'll try to make time for you." James shook his head. "He said he was allowed to sleep around because genes like his needed to be preserved, he was better than me, and I was nothing special. "

Logan sighed. "That does sound like him. But he was wrong. He had nothing on you." Logan assured him. "But what about the part about Jo?"

"Jo found out from Megan, their other costar, about the divorce and she hunted me down about 2 weeks ago, after hunting Jett down and bitching him out. She didn't meet me at Starbucks, though, I was so sick from all the stress I couldn't even get out of bed. It was like when you stole my swagger, and so she hunted down my apartment from someone I worked with, and she knows me better than I thought because she found the key I kept in a plant under a rock by my door and let herself in." James smiled at the thought. "She found me lying in the middle of my bed, and I hadn't moved for 2 days. She got my up and got me to move back here with her, and I've been living with her for almost 2 weeks. She just finally convinced me to come see you guys."

Logan sighed. "I wish you had kept in touch. I would have been able to help you, so much, if you had called me. Even if you hadn't kept in touch and had called randomly, I would have jumped up and helped you. I would have- I would have taught Jett a lesson." Logan would have too. He even had a hockey stick in mind for that beating he would have to unleash on Jett. Jett had always been afraid of Logan and Carlos since that one Christmas when James had held Jett back while Logan and Carlos had beat Jett over the head.

James sighed. "I thought you'd all hate me." He said sadly. "I screwed up and ruined my relationship with my three best friends." He sighed.

"No, you didn't" Logan said. "You could be in jail for murder and I would still love you. I hate to say it, because I love Kendall and Carlos just as much- if differently- but if either of them has issues with you over this, then they aren't really your friends in the first place. Come on, let's get you home, you can sleep at our place tonight, you're a mess" Logan stood up, hauling James to his feet and unlocked the car door, helping him into it. James blinked at him and then buckled his seat belt, still biting his lip. Logan quickly walked around to the other side and got in, starting the car. "I'll tell Carlos to have a word with Kendall tonight, Carlos loves you too and he doesn't care about what happened, he just wants everything to be okay"

"You think so?"

"I know so. That's why when Carlos told me about your past this morning, I didn't flip out. I just had to hear it from you. I love you- so much James- and I hate to think about you getting hurt like that. "

James stared blankly at Logan. "Oh!" he said with a nod, not quite sure how to comprehend this latest development. He stared blankly ahead, letting Logan talk the whole ride home.

* * *

The next morning, Carlos cheerily bounced into the living room, stopping when he found Logan asleep on the couch. Carlos glanced at the clock and then bounced over to Logan, shaking him awake. Logan awoke with a start and fell off the couch with a dull thud. He moaned and looked up at Carlos. "What's going on?" he asked, shaking his head groggily.

"Why are you sleeping on the couch?" Carlos asked with a grin.

"I let James have my bed. We need to talk about that by the way" Logan said, sitting up. Carlos helped pull him up and then raised an eyebrow.

"What, why?" Carlos asked.

Logan rolled his eyes. "Kendall showed up at dinner last night, humiliated James and then sat there while I ran to go find James, who ran out and was crying when I found him"

Carlos sighed. "Okay, I'll go talk to him" he said, rolling his eyes. "Scratch that, I am going to _kill _him. With his own hockey stick" Carlos glowered.

Logan sighed. "Can I help? James is so torn up, Kendall really didn't think this through. I had to carry James in from the car last night, he fell asleep because he wore himself out, and he was bleeding badly."

Carlos raised an eyebrow. "Okay, he's dead. His pale white as is dead. Because I told him if he did something stupid, I wouldn't have sex with him and we had sex last night. Which is why I know his ass is pale white.

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Carlos, that was too much information:" he said.

"KENDALL DONALD KNIGHT, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" Carlos shouted, storming towards his and Kendall's room and slamming the door open. Logan winced as Kendall shouted in pain but sat down on the couch. "YOU HURT JAMES, YOU IGNORANT ASSHOLE! YOU JUST DON'T THINK ABOUT ANYONE BUT YOURSELF ANYMORE!"

Logan looked up as a sleepy and disheveled James sat down next to him, and slumped into Logan's lap. "Hey, did Carlos wake you up?" Logan asked, running his fingers through James's hair. James turned onto his back and blinked up at Logan.

"Still don't like my hair being touched, but you can get away with it. And yeah. What did Kendall do to him?" James asked groggily.

Logan continued playing with James's hair. "I told Carlos about last night. Carlos is furious, he told Kendall to be nice to you or no sex but Kendall lied to him. Carlos is pissed, and Carlos pissed just isn't good."

"He's inherited his mothers spicy temper" James asked.

"He tends to hold things in and then blow up, yes." Logan said. "Hey, enough about them, we should talk about us"

"What about us?" James asked, confused.

"You know. I know you like me, James. And since you've been gone- I've realized something- I need you. You mean the whole world to me. I'm in love with you and I always have been. It just- took some figuring out. But I know we belong together."

James blinked. "How'd you know?"

"Carlos told me about two years ago. If you loved me, why did you date and marry Jett?"

"I thought you'd never love me, so what was I supposed to do? Just be miserable. And for a while, Jett made me feel really good. He really made me think he loved me for a while. He knew exactly what I liked. And then, about 3 years into the marriage- he stopped. I'd ask him to rub my shoulders and he'd scoff. I'd tell him I was tired and could he help me pick up the apartment or make dinner and he'd make a bigger mess or go get himself fast food and leave me to fend for myself. I wanted kids, you know I've always wanted kids, and he said I was selfish to want them. I don't doubt he really, truly loved me at some point but I think he got bored of me, or stopped. But me being around was convenient to him and so he pretended like there was love, every time we fought he'd pretend to be all sorry. But when I caught him cheating, I had had enough and I left. It took a lot of strength because even if I loved you, he was my husband and I love him. I think part of me still does." James explained. "It was toxic- and I should have known that Jett would get bored. But I just- I couldn't help but fall for him. Maybe I'm not the best judge of character"

"No, you aren't, but you have a good heart" Logan comforted. "and you couldn't have-" he stopped as Kendall screamed profanities at Carlos. He rolled his eyes and continued. "you couldn't have known that Jett would turn out to be playing you. How could you have?"

"I just- I ruined my friendship with Kendall for someone who hurt me, and I hate that." James said softly. "I feel like a screw up because Kendall was a good friend and we could have worked out the differences in the music if I hadn't threatened to hurt him. I just got so mad because he kept hurting Jett. And I didn't like that. But you know I would never have hurt Kendall, evne though I said I would have? I was just mad. I punched him but he deserved it. And it didn't feel good. After that, everything I said was empty threats. And he knew it too. and I threw everything away for Jett fucking Stetson. And it sucks."

"Are you afraid to fall again?" Logan asked. He couldn't imagine everything James must be going through- the pain, the anxiety, the shock, the feeling of being ripped apart. He could see the pain in James's face. He wished he had realized earlier, could have protected James from the pain. He hated seeing James in pain like this, it made him feel bad. Both James and Kendall had been wrong, but James wasn't good at hiding his feelings and emotions and James had sincerely wanted to fix things and had done nothing to Kendall, and Kendall had hurt him worse.

"I am, but not of being with someone. I'm afraid of giving my whole heart to someone and having it blow up" James admitted. "I'm afraid of someone hurting me."

Logan brushed his hand over James's cheek, wishing he could take away some of the pain. Wishing he could take it all for James. "I'd never hurt you." he said softly. "I'd make you never felt the way Jett made you feel again. I'd really love you. I know you've only been divorced for a few weeks and you might not be ready but I am willing to wait for you. I love you enough to wait"

James sat up. "Honestly, the truth is, I need to be with someone, instead of walking around lonely. I need you, Logan" He said softly. " Please, believe me, I can't be this close and walk away alone. Because you're right- we're meant to be. And I don't just say that, at least not before dating the person. But I've known you for 20 years and I know- we could be amazing."

"Are you sure?" Logan asked.

James nodded. "It's not even a risk I'm taking- it's the smartest thing we'll ever do, you and me, being together. I don't care what you call me, but in my mind, as if right now, we're dating"

"I just don't want to do anything that puts you undr pressure. But if you want it so bad, then yes, you're my boyfriend and I'm yours." Logan smiled and then winced as Carlos shouted some choice words at Kendall, they had been arguing the whole time the two had been talking. "My crazy friends don't scare you?" he asked.

"Eh, the blonde one seems pretty chill" James said dryly.

"Well, he is most of the time. So, do you want breakfast? I can make eggs" Logan offered. "Do you still like garlic and chilis in yours?"

"Sure, and yes, I do." James nodded.

"Okay, you sit tight, and I'll cook. " Logan said, ruffling James's hair and heading towards the kitchen.

A few minutes later, Carlos dragged Kendall into the living room. "Say it, Kendall, tell him everything you told me" he urged, pushing Kendall onto the couch.

Kendall gulped. "James- I'm sorry. I was a jerk."

James nodded. "Yeah, you kind of were. I wanted to fix things and you made it worse. And now, you're only apologizing because Carlos is making you. At least mean what you say" He said coolly, standing up. "Logan, I'm going for a walk. I'll text you when I want back in" he said, stomping out.

Kendall bit his lip as Logan turned to survey him. "I know what you're going to say, Carlos already told me everything but I did mean it"

"Kendall, you don't realize how bad James is hurting, everything that happened with Jett devastated him and you made it worse. Jett- well, in a way, he abused James. He didn't hit him or anything but he did make it so James depended on him and he just really hurt James. He cheated on James, and he took advantage of him. Do you get it, Kendall? Not everyone is as lucky in love as you were to have Carlos. James has been hurt. Really hurt. And you're treating him like crap. He really, really loved Jett."

"I meant I was sorry. I didn't mean to take it so far. But now that I know that- God, I'm the worst friend in the world" Kendall sank down onto the couch. He put his face in his hands and sat there. "I'm going to go find him and make it right." He said, standing up.

Carlos looked out the window. "It's rainigng, wear a jacket and take James one. He's a little on the thin side now, he'll fit into one of yours" he observed. Kendall nodded and ran towards the hall closet, and darted towards the door, pulling a jacket. "If you screwed up and you know it clap your hands" Carlos sang out.

As Kendall walked out the door, he clapped.

Kendall found James sitting in the Palmwoods park, soaked to the bone. Silently, he sat down next to James and slide a jacket over his shoulders. "You're going to freeze" he commented.

"You'd probably like that" James said bitterly.

"James, I really am sorry. I was sorry when I said it earlier, and I'm even more sorry now. I didn't know that you were so hurt."

"Well, I was." James snapped.

"I'm really sorry. I thought you were justi here to hurt Logan."

"I wasn't" James said, standing up. "I was here to fix things with you, but then Logan and I just clicked, and in case you cared, you're stuck with me again because Logan and I are dating. And I'd never hurt Logan. It sucks to be hurt by the person you love."

Kendall sighed and stood up too. "You really, truly loved him, didn't you?"

James nodded. "To say I loved him with all my heart would be an understatement. I was sure he was my forever. That one day, we'd have kids and a big mansion and a dog"

Kendall frowned. "I feel like such a jerk"

"Don't. You didn't know" James said. "but just know, I want to be friends. I don't want to loose someone I've cared about for 21 years. You're basically my brother. Brother's fight. But what you did wasn't fair."

Kendall nodded. "I know. I don't know why I did it. If it's any consolation, I could probably get Carlos locked up for domestic abuse after the number he did on my back and ass but that would involve taking pictures of places I'd rather not take pictures of"

"What?"

"He held me down and beat me with my hockey stick. I- kind of lied to him. He has muscle-" Kendall laughed.

"Ah" James nodded. "I didn't mean to cause a rift with you two"

Kendall shook his head. "My fault. When dating Carlos, it's better to just do what he says when he follows it up with "I mean it, Kendall Donald Knight, or I'll lock you in a closet for a week" or glances threateningly at a hockey stick while he says something, it's just healthier to do what he wants. Besides that point, I'm really sorry."

"I'm sorry too. I should have listened to you" James admitted

"I still should have never done that to you. I was a real jerk. I don't know how you'd ever fogive me"

James shrugged. "We all make mistakes. I should have tried to work things out, I should have acted like an adult and asked you to stop instead of punching you. I'm sorry about that, it's my biggest regret"

Kendall shrugged. "We both made a mistake, but I made a bigger one. It almost lost me a best friend. Friends?"

James smiled. "Best friends. However girly it may sound, it's what we are." He said softly, pulling Kendall into a hug. "Can I move back in?"

"You have to ask?" Kendall asked incredulously. "Of course you can. Come on, I'm sure Logan and Carlos don't want to have to nurse us back to health. And if you want it- there's still a giant James whole in BTR and Gustavo keeps wishing you were back"

James smiled. "I'd like that" he nodded, as they walked back up the apartment. "I'd like that a lot"

* * *

_**6 months later**_

2J was empty, except for Logan and James, who were standing in the doorway. "It's so empty, without Kendall and Carlos" James lamented, sitting down on the couch. Right after James had moved back in, Katie and Mrs. Knight had moved into a smaller apartment 2 floors up, so they weren't there either.

Logan nodded. "Yeah" he said softly. "but I hope they're having a good time in Spain on their honeymoon." He said with a laugh. "Those crazy kids"

"It was a nice wedding." James acknowledged. It really had been, very private and simple, just like Carlos and Kendall had wanted it. "I never expected Kendall to make me his best man, that was a surprise"

"Yeah" Logan smiled, sitting down next to James. "I'm glad you guys got so close again"

James smiled. "Me too. I'm glad I came back. I'm glad I have you"

Logan smiled at his boyfriend. "I'm glad for that too. I love you."

James leaned down and kissed him, pulling away with a smile. "I love you more. I love you forever"

Logan smiled. "You make me so happy" he said with a smile. "I can't believe I am so lucky to have gotten a chance"

"This is my second chance at love and I- I'm glad I got it" James said with a smile. "I didn't deserve it"

Logan wrapped his arms around James's neck. "You know, baby, you could be a king if you tried. I hate how Jett ruined your self esteem, because you're so beautiful and sweet and amazing. Jett missed out on a good thing. But I'm glad he did because now I get you."

"You know, it hurts to loose someone you love so much but I'm glad he left me broken, because if he hadn't, I wouldn't have you. and you're much better than him"

Logan smiled. "I'm glad we're together, I'm glad everything worked out"

James locked their lips together again. It was funny, but life did have an odd way of working itself out. And James liked the way things had worked out.

* * *

**A/N:** okay, guys you have no idea- I started writing this on Christmas Day….yes, CHRISTMAS DAY. And then I started working on it in January, got writers block and forgot about it. This went through several edits- the setting went from the day after Christmas, to a couple days after new year's, to Carlos's birthday….and, it's almost as long as Turn Right.

So basically, if you don't review, I will cry. I would love a lot of reviews on this because I worked my butt off on it. And stayed up tikk 6 am to finish it.

Basically, this is based off the song "Can You Feel tge Love Tonight" from The Lion King, slightly but it became so much more.

And yes, I know Kendall's a meanie in this but I couldn't see Carlos being a bitch …;so yeah, it's Kendall and at least everything worked out, right?

So please go review!

Emma.


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